Wanted: Lead vocalist willing to join band.

Specifications: Must be immature. Must have hair of at least three different shades. Must be a capable head-banger. Must be able to scream louder than the average citizen. Must have a cool car, guitar, and ear, nose, or tongue rings. Must be willing to smash guitar on floor after every concert. Must be willing to take risks.

Risks include: Possibly being torn apart by demented fans. Possibly choking to death from colored smoke gas. Possibly breaking every bone in body while being lowered from ceilings. Possibly being put in jail for disturbing the peace.

Benefits include: Medical insurance*, life insurance*, car insurance*, and the opportunity to sign autographs.

*Please note that your entire paycheck will go to support these insurances. But hey, you're a star. You don't need money. Although not crucial, it would be a plus if you have the ability of singing and playing the guitar. If you meet the requirements send resume and picture to: DeMeNtIaLiTy@losers.org