Aunt Bertha: The Column

Dear Auntie B.: Our family recently went to my cousin's house. His manners were atrocious. He didn't hold his fork right, he put his socks on the coffee table while watching tv, he treated me as if I couldn't even open the door by always holding it open when I would walk through after him, and to top it off he used words like, "ain't", "geez", and the word "bud" out of proper context by actually using it as a noun referring to my son! I was shocked, and I am sure you are as well. May I remind you that all of this irrevocable behavior was displayed in front of my impressional young children! For what have I toiled all these long years only to have my cousin completely destroy the proper grammar I have given my children. My husband did not share my feelings. I became very angry with him and told him he could stay there with my cousin if he liked him so much. I took the children and left for home. He now says that he is sorry and sends flowers every day with a carefully-written, grammatically-correct, romantic note. I fear I am giving in. What should I do?

                                                         Mrs. Moody in Maine

Aunt Bertha says: Never give in! Never! Sure, he uses correct grammar and agrees with your opinions now! He hasn't changed; both he and your cousin are male chauvinists. Holding the door open for a perfectly capable lady-my goodness! What do they think we are?! Some dog that can't open the door for themselves!? The fact that your husband didn't agree with you shows that he was directly rebelling against you. He doesn't care about your impressionable children either. Men are so vulgar, and are all the same. He probably likes being on the sofa with his feet on the coffee table, sitting next to your cousin, belching, and hanging his mouth open in front of the TV more than he enjoys being with you and taking part in your refined culture anyway. No, Mrs. Moody, you did rightly! What an inspirational story for utopian women everywhere!